Understanding How to Get Custody of Your Child

Understanding how to get custody of your child is the first step in this long and protracted fight. The whole procedure is excruciatingly unpleasant and immensely depressing, but if it must be done; it has to be done. Parents occasionally tend to get rid of their feeling of reason which under the circumstances is perfectly understandable. They'll say and do whatever they have to, merely to try and get custody of the children.

To compound matters, you always come across parents who just don't know how to raise children. They choose to live on their own terms. Their terms may work for them, but they are not conducive for children. All children need a healthy environment to grow up in. One also comes across parents who want to avenge themselves by hurting the other parent. They may not really want to get custody of the children, but will nonetheless fight the other, just to even the score.

Sometimes the judge may decide to gauge for himself which parent is more suited to get custody of their children. He may order them to undergo a Child Custody Assessment - a process through which parents can evaluated on their parenting skills. The parent who gets a better grade is naturally the better choice for getting custody.

A neutral party who can be detached and objective is usually asked to conduct this evaluation process. More often than not this party is a trained psychologist and hence is more sensitive and can offer some valuable thoughts and insights.

The aspects that are observed keenly during the child custody assessment are listed below:

To start with, the evaluator will try and get the child's point of view. The evaluator has to be skillful enough in earning the child's trust; the child has to be comfortable with confiding in him. For this, the child will be interviewed delicately and gently. It is after all the child's well-being that is of utmost importance and that is at stake here.

Financial worthiness of each parent will be studied as well. Can the parent afford to give the child a comfortable lifestyle? The parent with the bigger bank balance does stand a better chance at winning custody of the children; however, just to be absolutely clear - money is not the deciding factor. But money is important and its significance cannot be undermined.

Parents interest in education. Even in the day and age we live in, some parents do not have a high enough regard for education and might neglect to provide for the same. If either parent comes across as being indifferent towards schooling and tutoring, the other parent could very well get custody of the children. This could be a critical factor in deciding who will get custody of the children.

Child abuse - a nebulous phrase of extreme relevance! The scope and scale of child abuse is more widespread than we would like to admit. Parents per se may not be abusive, but they could inadvertently be exposing their children to the same. Child custody evaluators will most probably interview other people in the parents' immediate circle - like neighbors, colleagues, relatives and friends. Their perception on each parent will also go a long way in determining which parent gets custody of the children.

We acknowledge that this whole process can be intrusive as well as troubling. However we can't lose sight of the fact that a child/children lives are going totally topsy-turvy. Everything must be done to safeguard the interests of young innocent lives, first and foremost!

by Alan Katz